Make Me Laugh

Cosmo (sung by Donald O'Connor):

Though the world is so full of a number things,
I know we should all be as happy as
But are we?
No, definitely no, positively no.
Decidedly no. Mm mm.
Short people have long faces and
Long people have short faces.
Big people have little humor
And little people have no humor at all!
And in the words of that immortal buddy
Samuel J. Snodgrass, as he was about to be lead
To the guillotine:
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
(Ha ha!)
My dad said "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines"
Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite
And you can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em...
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
My grandpa said go out and tell 'em a joke
But give it plenty of hoke
Make 'em roar
Make 'em scream
Take a fall
Run a wall
Split a seam
You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle till they're
Giggling all over the place
And then you get a great big custard pie in the face
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know... all the... wants...
My dad...
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!

"Make 'Em Laugh" ~ Singin' in the Rain (1952)
https://youtu.be/SND3v0i9uhE

Actually a quote from baseball great, Yogi Berra, I believe, :

“When you come to a fork in the road….take it.”

Rodney Dangerfield – I get no respect:

I was 8 years old – on my first airline flight with my parents.

We were traveling over the ocean.

My mother put my hat on and said “Go outside and play”

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines.

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

Ripping this off from an Instagram Reel.

My wife asked me, "Have you seen the dog bowl?"
I told her, "No, I never knew he could."

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens...

I bought art on fine art america :)

Bread to the dough;

Don’t mind the baker. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Dog owner: "The neighbors tell me you've been chasing people on bicycles!"

Dog: "They're lying, I don't even have a bicycle!"

Maybe an image can make you laugh - as this horse was laughing at me for taking his picture. :)

Spelling is hard... a couple of letters get messed up and your whole sentence is urined....

I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day , but I couldn't find any.

I got a booster shot recently because the doctor told me my laugh was contagious.

Hee Haw!

Why do doctors whack newborns on the bottom?

To knock the weenies off the smart ones! 0:)

Firstly, thank you all for making me smile this evening!

I must admit I do also like the occasional geek joke. Such as...

- There are 10 types of people in this world,
- Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

That joke’s a “10”!

Why don't they play poker in the jungle??

There are too many cheetahs.

Richard, please brush your horses teeth.
I have a toilet brush I can loan you.

Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

What do you get when you cross a Great Dane with a Miniature Poodle?

A Scooby Doodle.

What happens if you do it again, but with a French Poodle?

A Scooby Doodle Deux.

I said to my friend What rhymes with apple. He said no it doesn’t..

Where do you park a camel?

At the Camelot.

What is the right age to tell a highway it's adopted?

I was going to tell a carpentry joke, but I couldn’t find any that woodwork.

What do you call an alien with three eyes?

An aliiien.

What condition makes your feet smell like mint?

Tic Tac toe.

What do you call a bat in a belfry?

A dingbat.

What do you call a notorious mechanized tentacled avocado who wants to destroy Spider-Man?

Doc Guac.

Why did the origami artist never win a poker match?

Because he kept folding.

Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Did you hear about the man who was brought in by the fashion police?

They questioned him over his criminal ties.

Did you hear about the young man arrested by the fashion police?

Answer two: The fashion police showed up at a Texas high school and said " the school superintendent called and said there's a 17 year old male in high school with a 6 inch long hair cut kept up in tight curls so of course we rushed right over here to arrest you!"

And the high school student said 'hey...wait a minute..... seriously now.....is this some kind of
a joke?



(Thanks to David above for idea I shamelessly stole from to ridicule an almost true story from American high school...in particular some cases from Texas high schools I have mentioned elsewhere. I was going to just say "thanks to the man above" but I thought that might be misunderstood.)

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Do you who swings from ropes whilst spray painting pictures of vegetables in cages?

A trapped peas artist.

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes.

People say you hit your prime when you turn 23.

And you also hit it when you turn 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

What do you call a red-haired baker?

The ginger bread man.

What do you call a hopping cow?

A Kanga-moo

Why are books on helium so hard to put down?

I keep a potato masher in the kitchen drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

You know what always catches my eye?

Short people with umbrellas.

What do you call an art show that's been curated by a 35-year-old art coordinator and a 62-year-old retiree? "Modern Art Meets Retirement: A Timeless Exhibit!" It's the only place where you'll find classic rock blaring next to abstract paintings, and the early bird special includes a complimentary critique of the brushwork!

How much does pirate corn cost?

A buck an ear.

How does a penguin build his house?

Igloo's it together.

What’s the opposite of ladyfingers?

Mentos.